Remembered that night we were talking about my losses in life, I told you how if a family member passed on and you felt regret, it's cause you never did enough. How our conversation took place at the other side of the continent and I ended up crying, suffocated to the brink by my own emotions. You told me I had the wrong mindset and that I'm going to get hurt by my own obstination.
Now that you;re going through the same thing, I wish I can make you feel better, be the same kind of support and comfort you were to me. I know you're going to be disgusted by my post because no matter what I do, I can never change the tinted gaze you had for me. Tinted by my sins, by my ugly deeds and I know I'm the one to blame I know I never had the guts to say this to your face so here I am saying it, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for telling out your secrets which were never mine, sorry for unintentionally hurting you, sorry for being such a stubborn ass with only my own opinions in mind. I know I never deserve the third, fourth, fifth chance which you gave so generously.
You were a great friend, together with the other girls. I'm going to miss you, miss us so much. Sorry for your loss, stay strong.
-rachelberry
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