There are really times I'm sick of myself and I just want to feel good about myself. Like flaunting in clothes that I could never wear because my dream (major weight loss) came true so yeah. But than when I think again, I'll never have the guts to want to look nice. I know it sounds weird but ever since I get comments like 'Omg V, you're wearing a dress! So not you la' or 'It looks terrible. Can you take it down?', I sort of start hesitating everytime I saw pretty dresses. I just want people to stop caring that much.. At that kind of time. Yes, I'm not strong at all.
I'm not strong enough to accept crtiscism despite all that I'd received over the past few months which is just... Senseless. There are still so many people that made me feel small and ugly inside. When I finally feel really happy and pretty all over, I tend to forget. I tend to forget that if one person can make you feel like fireworks exploding inside you and all the beautiful rainbows and butterflies, it is just as easy to take it all away and punch line-d it with somewhat feels like a kick in the guts. Except that of course, it takes more than just 3 days for it to heal.
5.01am. now, on the phone with Sam who is currently in the hospital bandaged and casted like Ironman. Hehe.
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