Worthy, not

I wish I was skinnier. I wish I knew how to put make up on (so we can talk on and on about make up and tips on it.) I wish I was funny. I wish I had nice skin and legs. I wish I was pretty enough so to you, it would be great to be seen with. I wish I was so charismatic I make you want to hang out with me. I wish I have a contagious laughter so you will laugh with me. I wish I was special enough to make you think I'm all worth it as a friend.(yes, I do know I'm trying it too hard and it creeps you guys out. What happened already happened and my already dirt-covered record just got written down on with the unspeakable words you guys had verdicted. Yes I know that you guys might be on MSN talking about me how desperate I am and how irritating I am as well. Maybe you guys are saying, Yes Vivienne isn't that type of people I want to hang out anymore. It's okay I understand. 
But I'm not.
s might be highlighting it but other then blogshop stuff, I won't ask you guys for anything or try anything anymore)