Always loved, always will

This is us, now.

...................

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One day, we might just be like this. (:

Hey boy, I know I might be a little too late here to wish you a Harpee 19th birthday but I would just like to seize this undeserving opportunity and type this down: I love you. Yes I do, I never thought I will be (esp with you) and that right now though it is not completely rainbow and butterflies, I am grateful. Grateful for every tear that drops, we get back more intricated then ever, grateful for the nonsensical quarelling (like 1:10000000) and made up, grateful every time we had bad days but it all disappears when you kiss on my forehead and I tell you that tomorrow is going to be a better day.

I know a lot of people had now found me horrible, disgusting and [inserts all the ugliest/harsh(yet truthful) words] about me. I don't blame them but just am glad to be set free since the verdict is pretty much sealed and to a extend, I could not be any worse then now. Yet, you this one amazing homosephians out of billions of them seen through me and despite all that, actually liked what you saw. You were there when I was shattered and in bits and pieces, and though not very convincingly you comforted me and wiped my tears. Definitely, there is no denial that you were there for me. Even when your friends thought I'm not the best choice or even despised me sometimes, you stood by me all this while. Thank you for believing me and told your friends, 'she isn't like this.' Or, 'you just don't know her well enough.' Of all the times I wished someone could understand and stood up for me, you were there... All along. I was just too grieved to notice, too full of pity for myself that I actually blinded myself and thus not being able to see the light that you were here with me all along.

Thank you for being the first person to be fierce with me, to get me fired up. To talk sense into me, to be the person who holds me before I even break, to catch me before I hit the ground. We talked everyday on the phone, weird nothings and random-est of the random and we can never get sick of it. It's just weird when we don't and probably to us it might have seen like a necessity yet people find this superb unbelievable. That you tell me everything about your life and those details that always make me smile while feeding my fish on facebook and the phone lopsided at my shoulders.

The reason for this post is that I hope when one day we are not together anymore, I will then go back to back-track the journey we had and I happen to read this. An attempt to wake me up and make me think, "What had I done? I just lost the love of my life. I need to get my life back on track." When I did resurface from my delusions(whatever they are), I hope you remember this post and let me come back to you again. If I don't, then I guess... Serves me right for letting you go. But lets all pray that all the foolish syndromes would never ever happen.

Goodnight and love you. Always did, always will.