You never knew

Now I'm all bulletproof.

How bad you'd hurt me, never knew how much you'd made me cry just these few days. Worst part is, this has been going on for years and I took it so willingly and optimistically. I thought changing would be the keyword for the turning point. I did it, but it was never good enough for you, you and you. How I took stabs for you when I was just this dumb tart defending you even if you were behind those personal attacks, hurling heartbreaking words and ignorance I chose to acknowledge it as 'Moments'.

Moments of angst, being impulsive and insensibile. Moments when you were too emotional to handle anything. Worse still, I thought it was all worth it and kept convincing myself that in time, this will get all better.

They say talking about it makes you feel better, I guess you'd always hated that part of me but I tried. You were right, it didn't work one bit. Instead I get this crushing sensation in my chest, tumbling disappointment and find myself thinking, "One day or just someday.. Maybe I'll get better at handling this." I get it every time I try to get it off my chest but it stayed, engulfing me. I swear I choked on it way too many times but I just chose to be that ignorant fool and be optimistic. Closing my blog in the attempt to spite you is ignorantly immature and I guess I have to start living; with or without you.

On a irrelevant note, I wanted to post pictures from the trip but lost the cable. Oh well, bye.