HelloCupcakez

Busy

2012-01-19T16:22:00.000+08:00

Pictures showed comfort food that has been accompanying me for this stressful and prolly... most depressing period of my life. But none of my pessimistic rants today of course. A typical breakfast with the Khoo family which usually consist Daddy and the irritating brother who hacked into my facebook and proclaimed himself as the best brother of all times.

Oh yeah, I'm a fan of photography. Forever. Got to love instagram, hands down best app ever.

I should seriously get an award for controlling the shit around me and actually maneuvering around everything and still remain focused. One should never be miserable over things that has happened and keep his/her head facing the future. I guess. Or that was what I have been applying to my life. Schoolwork has been piling up and right now I have 6 reports on my hand this week (SAY WHAT) and I'm going to complete them after this blog posts. Like now.

Planner

2012-01-19T16:13:00.000+08:00

Been busy being a busy girl. :/

Surprise

2012-01-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

2012 has been a surprise year. Yesterday but who knows, rico came to my doorstep at 3am to have a heart to heart talk. It was.. just surprise and oddly nice. I mean, how freaking often can you do that with an ex boyfriend who is now a really good friend? I'm glad that we had that long long long talk even if it did make me cranky the next few hours for school. :>

January has been full of surprises but relatively good to me. Just one more semester exams to go and fyp report done, i'll be bidding my tertiary education in Singapore Polytechnic farewell. What does life holds after that? I don't know to be honest but I'm going to go with the flow and hope for the best.

Genting

2012-01-06T13:10:00.006+08:00

Can you spot the rainbow? :>

(taken by iPhone)

25th December was absolutely one of the most beautiful days of my life. :>

Thank you for giving me the best Xmas present, 2011.

First day of 2012

2012-01-02T14:26:00.004+08:00

Watched Sherlock Holmes 2 @ vivo and while walking out of the cinema, we did a hasty countdown at the stairway (followed by fireworks gg boom boom boom!) and then, I went home. Gotta be the least exciting celebration but company was worth it.

Next day was lunch @Ikea with the best cake and meatballs. And later back to watching my favourite anime, naruto! Followed by How I met your mother and dinner by Mcdelivery. Prolly one of the quieter and relaxing days with no drama, excitement and just pure laziness and enjoyment.

In the midst of fyp, I reckon it would do me and my mental being good. So have a great new year folks and start doing your new year resolutions to start a brand new year!

To be a better person

2011-12-28T12:13:00.000+08:00

I don't think I had ever been this contented and happy for a really really long time. Thank you for making everything easier and better to deal with. I'm so glad that I always have someone to turn to and thank you for making me smile all this while.

Luv
V

Because you still matter

2011-12-11T03:02:00.000+08:00

Because I hate the way you see no one else's pain but yours.

How you make such a dramatic scene out of your pain and smearing it on others faces and expecting something from it? How could you blame people for the pain you deserved? You didn't do anything to lessen your pain when you could. Deciding to live with that pain was your decision to make and not anyone elses.

Your insecurities live within you and they grow not because people keep getting better but because you couldn't even have the self-esteem or maturity to want to grow out of it. To want to be someone better. You bring people down because it makes you feel better and that's just... sickening. I hate that despite all this you still haunt me, haunt my conscience. Because I blame myself for not sorting you right, for not teaching you enough to be strong or at least stronger than what you are.

Happiest time of 2011

2011-11-25T20:51:00.000+08:00

Going to school has been miserable for me every single day for like the last few months, striving through school with people who were once close to me but now so distant. I know I'm at fault and that I deserve it just as much. I didn't just lose one but a whole. Oh well, #hatesmyself. But I'm glad because at the end of a day everyday, I got somewhere to go to. Where I fit in so perfectly and spending time with that special person makes me feel that I might just have some worth in me. I didn't have to pretend, pretend that I'm oblivious to the surroundings and that I'm just a loner. (sigh)

These pictures depict the best times of my life and as much as I try to ignore it because it always remind of what I can never get back to. But I'm not going to do that anymore because those are beautiful memories that I want to captivate in pictures and videos and show it to my grandchildren. Hell, I would definitely want to do that.

Just makes me sad that all I have to my poly life would just be memories and hardly anybody would ever contact me. I hate myself for all this mistakes.

Not cool

2011-11-20T10:49:00.000+08:00

Kick-starting this blog with my very lame classmate's conversation at an unearthly hour IN THE MORNING 10AM.

Healthy narcissism

2011-09-17T01:53:00.001+08:00

Healthy narcissism will do all of us good. I believe it is time to come back and update this space, to storm down entries before my memory fails me. Had never feel so liberated before - from all those hurt, blame I'd always mount upon myself and pulling everyone down with me as well.

Relationship statuses are just titles to me and I'm just so traumatized by expectations, disappointments from the last one. I think it is time to be a happy person. If anybody wants to be a happy person, best way is to show it to them how it gets done. Forgive others and mostly forgive yourself for all the wrongs you did. Be happy and never stop trying to be a better person.

If I ever make fun of you

2011-09-15T01:10:00.002+08:00

It means that my feelings for you are starting to adjust. I’m getting comfortable around you that I could call you names, diss you a few times; ‘cause I’m starting to get used to you. I hope you won’t take it personal, because you know that I won’t hurt your feelings or ever be disrespectful towards you. It doesn’t make sense, but this is a way for me to show you that I’m starting to get attached to you.

I'm starting a new phase in life. Here goes nothing.

O really?

2011-08-20T00:18:00.000+08:00

Srsly?

Because I am not a saint and I know it, as much as I account myself for the credibility for ending everything. At least I acknowledged some things like responsibility and truth because right now all you can just see are my mistales. I never really undertand how this always bothers me even till today. Yes because it was me who did wrong. It was always me.

Urgh

ZHJ

2011-08-06T00:08:00.000+08:00

"How's dinner?"
"Not bad. But would have been better with you."

Really, you're always full of surprises. :)

It's called a break up because it's broken

2011-08-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

I didn't love you any less till today.

I still think of you everyday, I underestimated the capability of all those nostalgic memories that were spent with you. I gave up because I was not strong enough and it hurts me just as bad because you have to suffer for my consequences. I know... you hate me now.

Didn't miss you any less all these time.

Sorry, I'd tried.

2011-07-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

Sorry for what I had done.

Sorry if I'd hurt you.

Sorry for all the times I'd said something mean and hurt your feelings with my insensitivity.

Sorry that you could not accept me for who I am.

I know there is nothing I could do to erase the past or mistakes, nor can some of you trust me just as much. I would love nothing more than a reconciliation but I guess you all think otherwise. Well, all I can say is I'd tried. I'd tried fitting in, tried being a better person, tried being less emotional and less expecting. I'd tried being nicer, tried being friends with you guys all over again. I'd tried.

The only regrets I have is that I wasn't a better person and you guys have to suffer for that and again sorry because I had never meant to hurt you.

For the salvaging part, I know I'd done my very best but it just wasn't good enough I guess. So it ends here, thanks for the beautiful memories.

Sorry for your loss

2011-06-05T18:34:00.000+08:00

Remembered that night we were talking about my losses in life, I told you how if a family member passed on and you felt regret, it's cause you never did enough. How our conversation took place at the other side of the continent and I ended up crying, suffocated to the brink by my own emotions. You told me I had the wrong mindset and that I'm going to get hurt by my own obstination.

Now that you;re going through the same thing, I wish I can make you feel better, be the same kind of support and comfort you were to me. I know you're going to be disgusted by my post because no matter what I do, I can never change the tinted gaze you had for me. Tinted by my sins, by my ugly deeds and I know I'm the one to blame I know I never had the guts to say this to your face so here I am saying it, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for telling out your secrets which were never mine, sorry for unintentionally hurting you, sorry for being such a stubborn ass with only my own opinions in mind. I know I never deserve the third, fourth, fifth chance which you gave so generously.

You were a great friend, together with the other girls. I'm going to miss you, miss us so much. Sorry for your loss, stay strong.

-rachelberry

This is the part

2011-05-21T01:58:00.000+08:00

where I get disintegrated brick by brick.
where you caught me off guard and knock me down.
it was those tough stones and hard flaws that clawed you.
ignorance, my second shadow blinded me.
so here I am, dealing the remaining walls and watching them collapse one by one wondering whose next.
this time no matter how hard I try, it won't make a difference: patching nor amendments.
'She deserves it.' well done.
&now, a repetition of chapter in my life just ended.
Thanks for the memories.

Boys

2011-02-26T01:36:00.000+08:00

A: Do you have a good friend who is of the opposite sex?
B: Not anymore
A: What do you mean not anymore?? Did something happen?
B: Yes. she became my girlfriend

Okay, so I posted this on facebook but seriously I think this deserves up here to be on my blog.

So I'm going to rant and this time what I am going to rant is about boys. You know sometimes I see girls who have boyfriends and they feel that their boyfriends don't love them enough. Sometimes it might be their insecurities but sometimes it might because their boyfriends are just plain unromantic. Sure, it would be like phase 1 : honeymoon period whereby you get all giggly when you wake up and so excited to spend time with each other. But when all these died down, some girls just don't feel it anymore and sometimes boys don't feel they need to prove just as much when they 'bag' their girl.

1. Surprises.
Sometimes girls just want to feel loved and sometimes they quit hoping because they truly believe their boyfriend will not be capable of those 'tricks' anymore since they already get what the want. IMO, surprises really change everything. I'm not talking about those godforsaken EXPENSIVE gifts, I'm talking about... mini surprises like chocolate (kinder bueno : egg), gummy bears, a fake flower, squeeze into the photobooth machines and get some ID photos with 2 of you guys in it.

You don't even have to buy too. Show up in places when she never thought you will. Like surprise her in the morning, cook her pancakes for breakfast. Really, they do wonders.

If we are talking about buying stuffs and you want to go all out on special events or whatsoever : Holiday. Yes, a wind down time when couples can chillax and be happy and excited about. A room in Marina Bay Sands cost 400bux a night but you can SAVE and give her a good time, bring her to the roof with the infinity pool talk all night or whatsoever. Or a holiday at genting! Bali, with all those water sports. Surprise her with tickets! Seriously, it will make the girl feel special. Instead of spending your money on good food, video games, scrimp and save for a special occasion for you and your girl. Make that effort and most girls will appreciate that.

2. Listen to her
Sometimes when the girls might be bitching and talking on a topic you have no interest in, prolly you need to find out why she is so mad/sad/upset over it. Listen to her, maybe she is insecured. Maybe she wouldn't be like this if she feels someone care. Maybe she just wants you to stop playing dota and really find out whats wrong with her and she had enough with hints. By noticing the little things she do or say can let you realise what might be the problem sometimes that you guys face.

And sometimes she just want somebody to tell her that they care for you and maybe not looking for advices. Maybe they want to hear is, 'You know what, you done enough. It's alright, I understand. Don't be so hard on yourself.'

Okay, seriously i hope some boys do realise what great girls they have and cherish them really. And if you're really not in love with them, let them and your ego go.

People who made my day

2011-02-24T21:15:00.003+08:00

My class girls (Ng Limin and Chey Waisan. + Sylvia & Huileng.

Love them so much srsly.

I am so

2011-02-20T12:42:00.001+08:00

Exhausted.

Forgive & Forget

2011-02-12T19:26:00.000+08:00

I'd been really busy la. Mai siao siao.

+ Jack's junior bought me KOI woahhhhhhh happygirl k.

Comment on youtube

2011-02-10T17:50:00.001+08:00

"Dear Taylor,

Your tendency to date douchebags makes for some great music, but how about giving us nice guys a chance?

With blind optimism,
Not-a-self-obsessed-male-pop-star"

Sometimes I find that Taylor Swift should go for guys not in the celebrity world? Like... A songwriter or something? That will be awesome, she don't have to worry about heartbreaks because most male celebrities I know can be pretty much douchebags when they are in a relationship. I mean I don't blame them, they have to give up so much to build a career but Taylor, she don't need such guys.

Would love to hear a true, happy song from Taylor Swift. (:

Bad day

2011-01-28T17:56:00.002+08:00

Hate life when 'downs' are what make the 'ups' even more 'ups'.

Go figure.

R/ships are ships and ships sink

2011-01-23T02:38:00.000+08:00

I'm insecured and I hate this. Do you really want to or is it an obligation? Don't do it because you feel a need to, do it because you want to. Sometime I hear too many, 'I just want you to be happy' that I'm too scared to believe it again. I waited for something, I don't want that to be a habit. I know I did wrong but punishment comes with warning too.

Yes, I'm so complicated but truth is all i want to hear is, 'Sorry, I didn't know you were waiting. Give me a chance so I can make you happy. I won't be tired, I promise.' instead of succumbing to whatever I said. I'm so vulnerable nowadays and letting my guard down because I thought I have you to cover me up, to act as a comfort to me. I thought that even if the whole world turn its back on me, I thought that... At least I still have you.

Chuck and Blair

2011-01-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

You're holding onto the pain because that's what we have left. But we don't have to, we have the choice.

Note to self....AGAIN

2011-01-16T12:20:00.000+08:00

Hello all, this is sam again.
Hello baby, it me again =)

Since she doesn't have the time to update her blog, allow me to do so. She's busy working for nikon again. PS-ed me for 3 days, traveling to EXPO, waking up early, reaching home late and have very little sleep. She rather do that than spending time with me =(

Oh well, i guess she learned her lesson. Totally drained out of energy.

Byebye.

Hiatus

2011-01-11T19:19:00.001+08:00

Roadshows after roadshows, im like concentrating on earning loadsa moolahs. It's tiring. Studies doesnt go well with flu, I swear. Medication makes me drowsy like mad and I sleep in class.

Okay hunnybunnies, I will be back. Really. And yes, i play with 2 iphones at a go. BAKERYSTORY FTW!

Note to self

2011-01-03T18:48:00.001+08:00

Note to self :

To log out everytime I'm not going to blog.

Hate you stupid boy. Am going to make you watch Sex&thecity 2 x984727596246436 times

Hello

2011-01-02T17:05:00.000+08:00

Sam here. That pig is sleeping on the sofa as she claim that she's sick. Invited me over wanting to watch sex and the city 2. Heng she's sleeping now. yay!

she's a pig, yes she is. HAHAHA

(Y)

First post of 2011

2011-01-01T01:59:00.000+08:00

To me, it doesn't mean much that it is 2011, a new year or whatsoever.

YEAR 2011:

Year 3's FYP (Stress much?)

A new job at PTO, as a PA and my jobscope is to write birthday/greeting cards

AM GETTING A CAR BEFORE I GOT MY LICENSE!!!

Juggling 2 jobs, studies and the boyf.

Don't really know what to expect so please, dear 2011 be nice to me okay?

Gimme time

2010-12-29T18:14:00.000+08:00

I'll be back.

Hatched Cafe

2010-12-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

The day I brought my boy to this cafe which almost every dish is about eggs! We had brunch there and it was one of the best brunch I ever had. Best meals are usually with the best people, no? I think I earned the rights to be cheesey after all its the festive season. There are like 11 days after Dec 25th k, Christmas just doesn't ends after the 26th. That day also happened to be the day we celebrated his birthday and his last paper.

Hope you love your iPhone baby. (: NOW WE ALL HAZ IPHONE HEHEHE. Okay, pictures time!

To Do

2010-12-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

To Do List:
Revamp my blog and not be sian with my blog layout which often discourages me to blog or when I do, I have to backspace my entries.
Do WaiSan's video + get her birthday presents (so she'll get off my back)
Do final birthday present (!)
Do shopping list + Bring my girls to shopping (!!!) I remember kkkk.
Blog for my readers who have been faithfully reading my blog despite lack of updates. <3

Till today, I have not sit down and properly nua. Really, I MUST NUA UNTIL I HAPPY.

HEHE

2010-12-21T20:49:00.001+08:00

I got sibei loads things to blog. Gimme time k? :D Let me nuaaaaaaaaaa~ all i can first really. Work's killing me.

Babyboy

2010-12-15T11:27:00.000+08:00

Happy 20th Birthday! ♥

Good luck for your paper today and last paper tmr!

IPHONE 4 BABY

2010-12-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

Guess who's the proud owner of a spanking new iphone 4? HAHAHAHA MEEEE. Anyw, we are the iphone family now, each of my family member haz iphone!

Am going to take my exam and go genting later on, that explains the long sleeve and that's mummy rubbing her face with lotion in the last picture! Can't bring all the troubled and sad ppl along, sigh. Hang in there everybody, loads of virtual kiss and hugs to you!

And to the qtpig, please take care of yourself when im gone. Will call you if i get a chance to k?

Barbie Polaroid Instant 600 Flim

2010-12-07T17:11:00.002+08:00

Yes/No?

Prettyful

2010-12-06T19:15:00.000+08:00

Hehehe love helium balloons, i wanna borrow a polaroid ANYONE CAN LEND ME? Just to bring it to my genting trip and capture the memories there. I miss Genting so much and our little apartment there, it's so beautiful with trees, birds, flowers and pond and a country club with a pool filled with warm water!

K, am going to study for maths. PPM was terrible but like what del said, don't brood about it so much and try to make it up the next time? Yeah, am soooooo going to do that. Can't wait for friday! :>

Because you couldn't do what he can do, then hating him only makes you look like a loser

2010-12-03T21:36:00.003+08:00

"I know a lot of people hate on Justin, but its really disrespectful to dislike a video that has so much meaning. He may not be my favorite artist, but he definitely has my respect for singing about meaningful things instead of hot girls, cars and money.."

Random Comment on youtube.

It's called a break up because it's broken

2010-12-02T16:42:00.000+08:00

I took all this, heh. Still a long way to go though, loads of room to improve sooo I guess that's a good thing? I mean people who are good don't really have much space to improve whatttt.

Been studying for my MSTs and am so happy for Delise that she finished her A levels! You go girl! Throughout this 2 years, I seen her getting skinnier and looking more and more tired + haggard. Love you darling and hope to work with you soon - right after my MSTs. We are going to work, catch up and shopppp. It's either both of us are busy or no time, really. Can't wait!

OH. Also to mention my class girls that we are going to go shop too and our ice-skating date. So excited. 2 weeks of holidays really not enough. Am going to work my butt off, hang out with people and finally enjoy life. Am so glad that I'm feeling my life is more complete - The bits and pieces that were missing came back. (: Hehe, you know who you are.

AND I'm gonna smack down two pictures of me. Yes I know I looked mad fugly. Omgoodness, it was around february like... Right before Chinese New Year? Hate my hair (one-eye monster ): ) but I think Del's photography is amazing. Really, those who disagree you can go bang wall.

Straight Edge

2010-11-28T16:34:00.009+08:00

Guys that are straight edge are hot. Period.

"Straight Edge refers to a subculture of hardcore punk, which was a direct reaction to the sexual revolution, hedonism, and excess associated with punk rock. In its simplest form, straight edge is a philosophy of staying clean and sober: meaning refraining from using alcohol, tobacco, and recreational drugs. For some, this extends to not engaging inpromiscuous sex, following a vegetarian or vegan diet, not using caffeine or prescription drugs."

Source : x

XieJieYing

2010-11-28T00:56:00.003+08:00

To XJY.

Dear xjy, you had been my pillar of support when I nearly died and commited social suicide, you were one of the few people who stood by me and actually comforted and cared for me telling me I did nothing wrong and I wasn't much of at fault. Thank you for embracing me because i know i was never well liked by anybody back in the past even in tzuchi, hahaha i had a screwed up social life. People you didn't know were also talking bad about me and also.. people we knows or even people who socialises around me. To be honest, you were the very few people who I thought will comfort me you know but i'm glad you did. (: You helped me so much more.

You got me to admit and be true to myself. We met at taiwan camp and welllllllllll I know I wasn't well liked and now, I still don't know. I'm sorry I drift away from you because to me, you're differentiate perfectly well. Discipline, good means good, bad means bad. You're so decisive, always making decisions that you never regret unlike me. I cut myself away from alot of people and you knew why and I'm sorry I didn't ask you out. I'm scared of your opinions sometimes. Especially because I wasn't brave enough to do what you can do and I'm scared you will judge me.

But you were the few people who came back to help me and picked me up. Picked all my little pieces. Regardless if you still hate me now with the other bunch or... I don't know? Lol, you were one of the good friends I had in life. Really. I'm a terrible friend really. Whenever my status was about some emo shit or sucidal stuffs, you text or msn me and sometimes I don't even reply because I forgot. Okay, if given a chance, ill be a better person.

If you read this, I'm sorry I cant even be a decent friend to go to your farewell party. I'm sorry I had not been there and always MIA all the time. I love you dear friend. I'll miss you for that 6 months - 1 year.

She'll Be Loved

2010-11-27T22:46:00.002+08:00

It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open, you come anytime you want.

These 2 nights had been amazing. Waking up to you in, eating french toast this morning and how you added a slice of ham in between knowing my weekend meat days are here. How you let me steal your shirt while you sleep shirtless and how i always ended up taking the blanket which i gave you or being a fat piece of lard, blocked the wind from the fan completely.

How we watched harrypotter 2 together and how you still kissed me on the forehead after all this time.

Chey Wai San

2010-11-17T12:15:00.000+08:00

Happy belated 18th babygirl. Wuvs you ttm. OKAY I WILL CONTINUE AFTER WHEN IM FREE TGT WITH VIDEO AND PRESSIE K. I also busy person la dey. Lub you cws.

FLB4

2010-11-17T11:45:00.000+08:00

HI i know so long never update but makes me wonder who reads my blog. Okay, 3 weeks to exam. I will post one damn long post for you all. Okay, I will post two pictures first so yeah. Anyway went to FLB 4, yeah la didnt do much to advertise headsoverheelz as it so i just took loadsa stocks and sell. Wonghweemin was right, I DID EARN ALOT OF MONEY. $6XX. But you take the rental away, around $5XX BUT GOOD JOB V. I would like to think that i did like an amazing job. Once exams over, I will clean my room up.

Hehe, love you babies.Sorry for calling you boobless la whm but you were but so not now. Hahahaha, goodluck to you and your boobies! Anyw, i love you girls just as much esp you wht, love your haircut. <3

Hate it when people tell me I'm photogenic. I mean you all might think I'm being arrogrant but its like saying OMG YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT IN REALITY. So yeah, win. Really win. Anyway, I think life is going well for me I say. People I love/loved will continue come back to me. So like I realised that I didn't do anything wrong in the past as much as I thought, in the end... They all came back, said sorry to me. Makes me a happy girl because I always believe, if they had left you for good and then came back again, you know they are true to you. And that they really love you. I'm just glad bits and pieces are coming back to me.

And yeah, my face fat like xiaolongbao. SIGHZ. Okay, going to get my fugly and fat ass back to studies. Hope you guys are having a good life - If you never realise, i never wish anything good for anybody in my blog. Like saying, hope you guys are happy forever or something lame but I'm going to make it a habit cause when someone say that to me, it brightens up my day alot. And to my darling Williams chey waisan, happy belated birthday. Am going to do birthday posts soon. Sigh, so much things to do but studies come first!

K, bye lovelys.

Hiatus

2010-11-15T19:28:00.001+08:00

Must. Start. On. Revision. Totally boring you right? Hehe, keep rocking V!

Will blog soon. A proper one, with pictures!

Tears in my eyes

2010-10-30T01:22:00.000+08:00

When I saw the text, "Sigh. It's kinda weird cause im not your boyfriend. You know what I mean right?"

Really.

Tell yourself

2010-10-17T23:06:00.000+08:00

"Everything is going to be okay in the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end."

Big dream, dream big

2010-10-14T00:46:00.000+08:00

This is me on my yongtaufoo days, veggie diet gogogo!

So like, I'm being a nerd, being in my own world everytime I read a book. I bought 3 books this month and they are not enough really. I love watching movies but reading a book is like... Creating scenes in your head that no movie can match. Sometimes I wish I could be the one to direct the movie. Y'know movies like Twilight when people goes, Ah so overrated. But if you heard my version, it might be so much better? Media technology might be advancing but in your imagination, creativity is endless.

Oh well, am not a media studies kid. Engineering isn't my cup of tea. But environmental studies are. I really want to be a farmer with some aid of technology, grows my own vegetables, rice and fungi and have a house by my field. My dream k but... Well, a little impossible. But we'll never know.

I was a flight risk, afraid of fallin'

2010-10-13T14:40:00.000+08:00

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Filter

2010-10-08T19:00:00.000+08:00

This is the part in life when everything I'd lost - the good or bad comes back. But it is like losing everything at once and bits and pieces that comes back. Like how a filter works, I'm glad everything bad got filtered out.

Commitment

2010-10-07T14:14:00.001+08:00

S'posed I'll do a short post here. I miss all my friends and I'm kind of glad that friends who leave you and came back and never blames you for anything are always your true friend. (: I'm glad that there are some people who are coming back to stay for good, but even if they leave so.. It's okay. Don't be afraid to do what is right even if the outcome isn't what you desired because if that person has enough conscience, they will realise what they did and come back for you again. Shit, this sounds so emo so happy pictures here LIKEEEE NOW.

I know I looked like shit but I was so happy! She's like a magical princess that came alive! Her costume was so pretty and I asked her what was her original height, she said it was 1.4 something HAHAHAHA. Must be liberating for her to be this tall.

Yongtaofoo because I'mma vegetarian kid from monday to friday. Yes, doing my part for mother Earth (: SO SHOULD YOU ALL OKAY, DON'T THINK IM BEING LAME ONE DAY WHEN YOU REALISE YOU GOT NO OXYGEN TO BREATHE THAN YOU KNOW.

I kept pronouncing frolick as frog leg HAHAHAHAHA. Sam couldn't figured out what I was saying and was mad. I was mad too because he couldn't figure out what I was saying! So we were like mad idiots laughing after we found out what I was trying to say.

I think when your boyfriend introduces you to his friends, his life for likeschool during weekdays, it's a way of another level of commitment. I think la. But right now, I'm just happy we are not rushing into anything. Am going out with them soon, going to bathe and more pix coming out!

Rain

2010-09-25T00:09:00.000+08:00

Slowly jumpstarting my blogging habit by saying I so love wet weathers. Love how it started by tiny drops and massive tiny drops forming big drops and even bigger drops. It's like heaven's peeing HAHA.

You're like the best friend I would end up marrying

2010-09-18T03:03:00.003+08:00

We went through so much actually. We went through the courtship, hell yeah do i remember when I'd rejected you for the first time. We were together, shit happens and I thought it was the end for us. I know I probably didn't deal with everything well and broke your heart. Then we went through the awkward friendship post-breakup phase...

And I think I'm falling for you all over again. It's like our laughter, streaming memories all playing on repeat. Boy, you're making it so hard for me to put that four walls up. You're making it so hard for me to completely let go.

Guilty charged

2010-09-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

IM SO MAD I WANNA SLAP MYSELF. Sigh. Only if slapping can help out here right now, ill gladly slap myself a hundred times.

Hate blogging sometimes because i keep re-living moments inside my head? Okay here it goes. Was s'posed to go thailand and daddy booked it like ard june during the political chaos and the stupid me had to book it during my exam date. Good one, V. Srsly i cant be any more dumb. So, we actually postphoned the trip and they gave us vouchers. The person just told me to get the booking done by September BUT NEVER TOLD ME THE EXACT DATE.

Then now i realise i should had booked on 3rd of september!!!! BUT FUCK I DIDNT. Wasted Daddy's money, i know its like... really god damn sad for him to see money wasted like this. My dad is a realy really frugal guy and doesn't spend much on himself, i had been raving about bkk for like a year and daddy gave in because he loves me so much and just wants me to be happy.

I'm sucha bitch. Am going to return him 605bux or in a way... Make it up to him to make him feel better. Seriously this guilt it killing me.

Ramblings

2010-09-16T00:56:00.000+08:00

Wonder when will people accept you as a whole and not point on your flaws, avoid you because of them. I'm brutal in words, honesty at my best if I see the point. I like this me. I don't like backspacing my thoughts because I think someone don't agrees with. But there I go again.

I think I'm building walls up though I always feel like crashing them down, I'd begin to acquaint to this security. At least, I know no one is going to hurt me.Materialism don't last, so does happiness. If someone can make you so happy so easily, he/she can take it just as easily. Am going to close down HeadsOverHeelz, just been thinking that I had my fair share of this experience and my uni fees won't be a problem anymore. It was good while it lasted. Wish I could find another source of satisfaction though. It won't be fashion this time, really.

I want to do photography actually.. But it's time to get good lenses before I do so.

Should I?

2010-09-09T17:14:00.000+08:00

Yes/No?

Okay la, I won't wear it out alone. Will add in turquoise headband or flowerband, denim vest and some nice sandals though I got none of the stated above butttttttt HAHAHA I LIKE THIS DRESS LEH. Cheap cheap 22bux/24.50bux reg postage.

Almost Pretty swallows

2010-09-06T01:07:00.000+08:00

Hehe, I did this after NOT studying maths which is my paper tmr omg. Luv pretty swallows. Hope the invigilator will approve of my calculator though. :/

Amazing teacher whoever you are

2010-08-30T11:42:00.000+08:00

THREE CHEERS TO TEACHERS WITH EXCELLENT + COLOURFUL HANDWRITING.

Makes me feel that engineering mathematics is worth doing tutorials + past year papers altogether. Plus give me a motivational boost, omg im so happy i know im weird haha k go figure.

Bob

2010-08-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

Hi, my name is Bob.

Faces

2010-08-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

Just some expressions of some of my family members hehe.

Living or dying

2010-08-21T11:33:00.000+08:00

It depends on how you see it. As every second passes, we are still inhaling oxygen, our hearts beating. I guess you can say we are living. But as every second passes, we are a second closer to death, our heartbeats getting numbered. We are also dying.

I guess the huge slap was when I was secondary 3, I was bottom 2 in class with miserable grades and everything. I woke up, strive my damnest best to do well for the big Os but well, consider all the time I have and my pathetic brains.. I did alright. Then now I am 18 (though I never feel like it), I'd seen people who are so much uglier than they look. How superficiality overwrites everything, how on the surface when I thought they are so pretty to cause heads turn and how happy they are with their life when they throw back their heads and laugh. It is not really a facade, you just need to look closer. Ugly souls are the worst.

In the midst of it, I became just like them as disgusting as it sounds. Suddenly so paranoid of my looks which is prolly something that you can never change and learn to embrace, insecured, vain, vexed. But right now, I know what I should be aiming for.

1. Strive my damnest hardest to shine. To succeed in careers or studies fair and square.

2. Channel all whatever I had to doing something good for mankind (I still don't know what though)

3. Returning home to someone who is worth it at the end of a tiring work day

4. To not hurt anybody if I can avoid it

Okay, I know I'm starting to sound like I'd been baptised or something like that but I guess its a start to being a better person. I hate how disgusting I can be sometimes.

Exhausted

2010-08-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

Just to show how exhausted I look, can't even put up a smile.In fact, I think I look scary lor.

This is how I look. Really. When I'm behind the screen or when I'm mugging or at home. Yeap, pretty much fugly. ANYWAY I LOST 2KG. Okay, done ranting of the temporary, superficial happiness.

Had been studying almost everyday and my free time was spent oggling at Emma Watson, SHE'S SO GORGEOUS OMG. I had been having a Harry Potter frenzy, going through every book and saving every picture. Love the Hermoine-Ron r/s srsly! Intending for a Harry Potter marathon from 1 to 6. And deathly hallows are coming, i'm so stoked! That is.. After the exams.

K, am going running this thursday with kwoky. And back to fourier series.

Fetish: Shoes

2010-08-13T02:33:00.000+08:00

I swear that Jeffrey Campbell just speak into my heart when I saw this pair of gorgeous booties. They are so gorgeous! I must have them, just so you know I'm not really nuts over shoes. In fact I goes to school in slippers (10 bucks from NUM, am i awesome or what) or in Everlast sneakers (Probably one of my most expensive shoes; how pathetic) which my brother had outgrown and a 10-bucks sandals that does not look like 10 bucks. Okay, I'm damn kiamsiap when it comes to shopping for my stuffs. Really

These booties can probably go with some designer jeans which I think I am going to save. Because when I really wanted something, I always ask myself if I need them so I hardly have impulse buys. And another weird thing about me is that I think shopping is exhausting. I had not been shopping ever since...The beginning of the year when I actually bought 5 basic spaghetti-striped tops WHICH ARE ONLY 5BUX EACH. Cheap thrills, no? I think jeans are amazing now, so yeah am going to pay Cheap Monday a visit soon - Once I saved money + exams over + I'd gotten rid fat thighs.

Anyway, these are Red-Wings! I can live without them but... They are really sick shoes.

Okay I know there has been a craze for Dr. Martens and I was seriously tempted but I can never understand spluring 100bucks on a pair of shoes. To me, that's like a sin. Do you know how hard is it to earn that kind of money! I think if you earned money and buy your clothes with them, you tend to be a a lot more frugal. I stopped asking money from my parents to buy clothes since secondary school so maybe if you see me wearing repeated outfits, it might made some sense to you that every piece is bought by my hard-earned money and I don't really have much to begin with.

Another footwear that would go with almost anything. I love sandals with heels and they are only SGD 27.00 - WITH SHIPPING. Had never gotten anything from spree - thing frugality again BUT I think they should be okay, right? If let say I didn't get my booties with those sexy straps and all, I might get this!

Alright, time to go to sleep and dream of my gorgeous booties. I mean THATS WHY THEY ARE CALL DREAM SHOES RIGHTTTTTTTTT ? :D K, will make it reality. Somehow.

Catalogue 9

2010-08-10T19:54:00.000+08:00

I know I had been a pathetic blogger and blogshop owner, srsly I bring shame to all the blogshop owners man. My lack of updates are losing me so much customers which is bad bad bad. So anyway, I decided to kickstart and revive my blogshop again! I included twitter here, PLEASE DO FOLLOW IF YOU LOVE HEADSOVERHEELZ. Okay even if you don't, just follow and lets us prove you wrong yeah? Swear am I going to update regularly and yes I mean it! Also, I decided to do updates on my blog here and then probably put my personal blog's link on my blogshop. Realise that people need to trust me and know that I'm real and I won't scam their money. I read it off from some guide like blogshop 101 and realise there's SOOO many things I don't really know. Really, it's like privacy on the risk but I guess no pain, no gain right?

Okay, I am going to do preview each of my catalogues here and add in like what I thought of some clothings which I really like.

1. Destroyed HighWaist Denim shorts.
I love it so much! Their denim are stiff and thick enough and not those thin ones. I don't know how to explain. But I swear it is as good as it looks!

2. Mid-Waisted Pants
I swear their cutting is amazing! Like they make you legs go on and on! I even kept one for myself. I really hate wearing long pants but I have to because im like an engineer student and it sort of like for safety measure and they are really perfect!

3. Nautical Striped Sheer Top
I love this so much! It is so versatile, can be worn as an outerwear, as a top itself (if you're bold enough) or wear it with an inner tube/tank top like how Jo did. Seriously, this is a good buy and I really love this piece alot. Limited pieces too so yeap!!!

4. Navy Blue Flutter-Sleeves Chiffon Top
I love the flutter-sleeves so much! And the fact its slightly sheer and thin enough makes it perfect for like Singapore's unpredictable weather. It has a drawstring to tighten around the waist and goes along with almost any bottoms such as denim shorts or any other shorts. I don't know why but this cutting is really amazing and i love it so much!

5. & 6. All polka-dotted dresses
I couldn't get much stocks for the one in white collar. But both cutting are etched at the waist and I think it gives a flattering cutting. Everytime I choose dresses, I tend to wear them in my head. I'm like super fat and these dresses kind of hide the fats nicely away I swearrrrrrr! But I like the one w/o collar and it has a nice chiffon material over inner lining. Really recommend it!

6. & 7. Floral Dress
The last 2 dresses are not like what they seem. They are something like chiffon but really good quality cotton/chiffon and it has a really flattering structure. They are not those thin thin cloth but they are really thick because of the layering but not so thick. And they are going around 23 so it is pretty cheap for HeadsOverHeelz's pricing for a dress so do get it. Their cutting + quality is amazing.

Okay, Catalogue 9 is terribly exhausting. My pictures from the studio kept disappearing and Jo left already. But thank god, it just so happen Leanne from GoneLikeMagic decided to help me out from the sticky spot! I was in the studio for like EIGHT FRIGGIN' HOURSSSS. 1st batch, 1/2 pics gone, 2nd batch ALL GONE, 3rd batch fine cause it wasn't handled by me but i swear i didnt do anything wrong! But really have to thank Leanna, we retake like 2 or 3 times. Seriously everything was going so wrong. ):

But everything is okay now. K enough talking, I'll post all the pics here for a sneak preview!

11th August,
Wednesday 9pm

Do come by k! :D

I miss daddy and mummy

2010-08-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

They are coming home tonight but 3 days never felt any longer.

I miss times I dragged my daddy to eat breakfast with me and we started talking about stuffs thats happening around. Like how my brother had a new sleeping position or a new girlfriend and my sister cried over something stupid. Sometimes we made fun of mum and it was really funny and breakfast made me a lot happier and I go school feeling brighter and more cheery. We always role play that he is my chauffeur and I'm some rich kid's daughter. He always opened the door for me and call me Da xiao jie and it was sooooooooo funnny. And I asked him if we are eating breakfast he will say no and say we are going to sample food not eat breakfast. HAHAHA.

Like buy a hundred number of dishes and we sample in just few bites and leave. Or we made jokes about going to Japan to eat Sushi or go Italy to eat spaghetti.

I miss my mum too, how she sent me to school and back during Thursday and let me sleep on her lap when she's on the sofa and we talked about food. ): Omg am so sad.

Don't bring me down

2010-08-01T21:45:00.000+08:00

Esp. when you think whatever I'm doing is wrong.

Theres like 101 ways of discouraging me. I know to you, this is for my own good but you have no idea how it feels everytime you stab me telling me i'll 'fuck things up' and say hurting stuffs like 'if your mind has already been made up, just go ahead' when you obviously cared. Even before I reacted, you'd already gave me the verdict. Talking nicely will help too. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm not just mad, i'm hurt too.

It hurts that everytime I try to suggest something or say the wrong things, you judge me and bring me down. Maybe that is how you work, before things have even happen you actually state possibilities that it will fail and how it will fail. Those possibilities might sound perfectly reasonable but sometimes I can't figure you out. And everytime I give in to you, listen to you its because I don't want another quarrel.

Grudgingly, I have to admit it. We were perfect but that's past tense. We are being disastrous now.

------
K I'd ranted, I'm done with it and now to delete all my frustrations. Good day to all of you.

Random day

2010-07-27T19:22:00.000+08:00

Pictures from a month ago or something. I still rememeber marcus saying damn mean. He commented on the second last picture, Denise that is the best picture you ever had! HAHAHA really mean seriously.

TGIF

2010-07-24T01:09:00.000+08:00

Thank god it's friday.

Am going to revive my online store and yes I promise updates ASAP and it won't die down again. Got a couple of advertising companies asking for HeadsOverHeelz now, can't waitttt. Went to get stocks and yes I almost died, thank god I had choochoo with me. 2 hours of sourcing!!! Right after a full day in school. It is seriously so hard to balance it all : Schoolwork and blogshop.

I'd been paying as much attention as I can to my studies and it is really taking a toll on me but I'm going to keep up with time management and take things as easy as I could. I'm going to study tomorrow at my own pace and hopefully be done with a few chapters of Engineering maths, Physics and complete my darn circuit. I'm so exhausted seriously. For the circuit, it's groupwork but... Sigh, I guess it's totally normal to have freeloaders. Am really bad with the circuit but hey I'm trying.

Yes, my life is this boring.

I actually went to the bookstore to get an excercise book (time to get my revision rolling!!!) and while paying for it, I saw this cutestttttt pink correction tape/eraser! Omg its a bunn-wee wabbitt, pardon for the twit language but this is seriously sooooooo cute. K, I immediately grabbed it and paid for it and put it in my bag when the person asked for a carrier for both items and I said no.

Then when I reached home, I was about to do my revision when I realized...

I left my fancy excercise book on the counter and left AFTER paying it. But had the bunny rabbit correction-tape and eraser)

But on the happier note, it still makes me smile when I look at it. I mean LOOK AT IT, the cheery smile and all. Kind of makes Maths so much bearable just by looking at it. Yes, I can't help being a girl sometimes.

Guilty Charged

2010-07-19T22:29:00.001+08:00

Things I have not done:

CTA Tutorial 6 (left last qns!!!)

CTA Tutorial 7 (teacher havent teach finish lousy excuse but trueee)

E. Mathematics Tutorial 7 (Finite series... because i hate maths?)

E. Mathematics Tutorial 8 (reason stated as above)

To complete Chapter 3's tutorial for EID (lazy + difficult)

To complete Chapter 3's tutorial for Physics (hate the teacher)

Test for circuit to work (sorry have to boast this but I DID 80% OF THE CIRCUIT!!!)

Presentation about UP for Flim Appreciation(!)

Okay, this post is to stop me from blogging and to remind me that i had SO MUCH work undone and probably install a little guilt enough for me to start mugging everytime i come online/blog. 6 weeks away from the exams but everybody is mugging lor. Kiasu bunch of people, only wanna make me nervous. But its my last shot to do well for some papers and must continue to do well for the remaining papers as well. :D

Yes, I'm going to be a nerd. Starting from tomorrow.

Stay tuned

2010-07-18T18:20:00.000+08:00

My blue bra strap says hi.
Going to update the space... after I conquer my CTA.

Any advices for my cui hair?

Time Machine

2010-07-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

I want a time machine and undo the break-up, unnecessary arguments, the harsh cold wars (despite their lifetime worthy of hours, it was enough to kill both of us), the times I irritated the shit out of you when you were on the phone and I went DOTA DOTA DOTA DOTA DOTA.
And now, I'm going to trash you in gunboundddddddddd.

Pregnancy

2010-07-11T13:29:00.000+08:00

So like this morning, my friend called from the other side of the world or rather another continent and told me she was pregnant. I was stunned, mad and on the verge of being crazy.

Apparently the father was her boyfriend all along. My friend (let call her D) just returned to school after my constant nagging sessions and is preparing to take her A levels. D's only like 2 years older then me and had dropped out school and been working but ever since we caught up through Skype, she decided to take up A levels and maybe go to a good university before pursuing her ambition: Environmental and Water Sciences. She and her boyfriend had been together for 4 years and he dropped out of high school. He didn't really want to pursue furthur education because he thinks owning a shop which does repairs to bikes/cars is enough for his future. Unfortunately, his business has been deteoriating. All he does now is drink and chill with his friends and spending less time with D.

I know they been like together for quite some time, 4 years is her longest record. But being with someone without financial stability doesn't really look like they are going to have a bright future. My friend is broke too and now they want to keep the baby and apparently none of them feel like it is an important thing to earn some money and prepare for the future. And she have to stop the education plan which she already paid for.

My friend is worried sick because apparently D's boyfriend have to marry her because of the baby and well, she feels insecured but she was so sure that he is THE one. And all she can think is that. Yes I know it is tough, losing someone and having a baby you have to exhaust yourself to look after. She kept saying, 'The baby came at the wrong time!' and I was stunned. I really feel sorry for the kid, I mean... I used to ask my dad why they want to have me. They say because they wants to build a family and they always say that they never regretted having me. Daddy said it was one of his happiest days in life. I mean if the child grow up and ask, Daddy why did you want to have me? OKAY MAYBE I THINK TOO MUCH.

Apparently D's boyfriend doesn't really give a shit but said something like, If you want to keep it, keep it. We will figure something. But all he does was act serious when it is required like meeting the in-laws and continue drinking and smoking his freaking life away while D becomes paranoid which is also not healthy for the baby.

Pre-Marital sex sucks especially when you're still schooling and you're going to have a baby. Hurts me even more when D couldn't see what I see : A bleak future for the baby. It didn't hit them yet that they have to look after the children and sacrifice what they have now for this child. And judging at D's boyfriend, it doesn't even sound possible. He just had a record with the police and well I don't really have a good impression of him. We used to be friends and he is one of those dumb guys. I'd asked him what was his ambition like 4 years ago and he said, 'To score as many chicks as possible.' I mean, that was 4 years ago but can you imagine how my heart sank when I thought of his answer. I feel so sad for D and the baby.

So just an advice to the readers : Please keep your legs close. It really isn't hard.

Recently

2010-07-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

Had been really sick. ):

Kage Bushin No Jutsu

2010-07-09T18:59:00.000+08:00

I miss my mum.
1st day of Year 2(a seniorrrrrrrrrrrr like finally)

New York New York! Before my awful hair got cut.

Ichiban + David Dior's Concert with the family (One word: God-like)

Random day with Sam to fix my laptop AGAIN at HP and wonderful lor mee.

):

More pix of me, too bad if you hate me.

So I had transformed into a geek. I'd became lazy and now I'm on the path of otakuism, had been watching Naruto Shippuden. Don't label me as a retard, heading for the mainstream but do think why are there people find it so fascinating. I love the idea and surprises behind each scene. I don't know why some people think its draggy, I don't want Naruto to ever end! ): Yes, I'd dumped Gossip Girl for Naruto. SRSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
Okay, there you go I sounded like some anime-kuku. And to be honest, I had sounded like this for the last few weeks. Like in the middle of the class, I feel like KAGE BUSHI NO JUTSUUUUUU and just jump onto the table or something. And run with my hands behind me like Naruto. You know what's worse? Naruto made me cry the hell out of myself. Shit. Had been gaming too (OMG), yes I can't believe myself too. I don't even like killing mushrooms or killing people. Had been trashing people like Marcus and my brother. K I \m/ seriously. I never thought I could be THAT good in gaming. So I just have to improve on my blackshot and trash my brother and you will see me camping at the lanshop next cause my dad prolly will take away my laptop. Did I mention to you I found shopping tiring and frustrating? Sigh. Guess... I'm weird like that. But this is a good update k. Yes, it is because theres pictures and chunks of text to suffer if you miss me too much. I got so much to blog, my birthday, trip to Genting with Sam, blogshop reviving! K la, Alot just that I can't think of what.

Reason I go SPP camp for

2010-06-20T16:13:00.002+08:00

Camp was awesome.

I repel technology

2010-06-15T21:03:00.002+08:00

Got so much to blog like seriously. Like about my birthday surprise with my classmates, Penang trip, Sam, Class bbq yesterday.. Alot more. Like those daily stuffs that happened to my life, I could write zillions of blog posts on it buttt... Laptop died.

So I went to the IT fair again and gave up jobs to patronise rather than promoting which is a good for a change when promoters almost worship me. Okay, exaggerating. So I got a new laptop. Had been a user for HP and even though it died within 1 year just so coincendentally a month after the warranty. Wanted to get a macbook pro but daddy refused till 5 hours later I bought the laptop. Sigh. But oh well, I got another HP laptop. HP Pavillion dm4 series, with the i5-processor and all that performance shit. So after a charge of 8 hours, I switched it on and it died on me. Yeah, before I even logged in.

So... Yeah. I repel technology. Period.

Nolstagic

2010-06-11T01:14:00.000+08:00

"V,

I don't see the point in you scribbling notes and knocking yourself out like those video games that always blast in your face, 'K.O'. Please for the love of god and people living around you by bathing, washing dishes instead of letting them rot in the sink for 3 days. Do the laundry and feed the dog too. And feed yourself too though you're so fat, it's okay to lose some weight.

From the guy across the wall."

Something I found from my inbox. I guess in life, people do come and go. I cannot denied that I missed you but it was good while it lasted.

Resolutions

2010-06-10T18:51:00.000+08:00

Okay from now on,

I am going to be serious in my studies and no more last minute mugging because I just can't do much. I am going to study like a month before exams or my next test, HONEST. Will stop playing bingo during lessons and try to love all my lectures i,e Hong hin and the Liao smthng.
I am going to be on a diet because fats has been creeping up without myself knowing, need to get rid of them and fast. Apparently swimming isn't effective enough (why ah?)
I will also attempt to dress + look like shit and wear my specs in school more often because weird people has been coming to classes they are not suppose to and I get attention in a really bad way. And to those people who thinks I am trying to attract attention here or bragging, YES HI I THINK IM HOT. And to those people who don't think otherwise and take it like a normal rant, yes I do get those sometimes during lunch/breaks or all the time and its plain weird.

Yes, that's all. I'm going to get my laptop fixed or get a macbook so expect more of me. OH IPHONE 4 IS GOING TO COME NEXT MNTH AND GUESS WHO IS GOING TO GET ITTTTTTT? Me.

Hiatus

2010-06-06T11:38:00.000+08:00

Reasons why I'm not blogging.
1. Laptop died on me TWICE.
2. Studying (yes, hardworking iz me.)

That's my life for now, omg yes i know im such a loser.

And to that person out there, stop trying to come back to my life. There's no point.

Happy Birthday

2010-05-23T12:10:00.000+08:00

I'm legally 18. Except it doesn't really feel like 18 to me. Had an unforgettable birthday celebration with my classmates on friday, guess I took it the wrong way because if you come to think about it... It was quite well-planned, had me totally fooled and surprised and if it wasn't played on me I could have laugh as well. Yes sorry kenny, I know I broke your heart. ): Am sooooo sorry k.

So if you think I supposedly have plans on my birthday, no I don't. Am gg to Sam's house and kickstart the day with deluxe breakfast. Supposed to go for Genting 2 days ago but shit happens so I'm in Singapore celebrating myself.. And Sam.

Birthdays had always mean something to me but this year, theres no excitement (probably there is and killed by my classmates, omg thanks hor), anticipation and really giggling. Everything probably killed by the series of unlucky things, probably should do a saga of it. But am getting a macbook!!! Maybe?

K random post. Bye, happy birthday to me.

C

2010-05-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

Happy 18th birthday.

I iz

2010-05-10T22:25:00.001+08:00

Epic fail

Never again

2010-05-03T21:37:00.001+08:00

I took a chance, I took a shot.

And you may think I’m bullet-proof, but I’m not.

You took a swing, I took it hard.

And down here from the ground I see who you are.

K, bestfriend

2010-05-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

Ms Looney - Limin says:
yeahh. he's a good friend
but he's irritating sometimes
hahaha
ooops :X
V. says:
k
im gg copy + paste
Ms Looney - Limin says:
wtff
Dont be sad alr la
Think of the times whereby he helped by giving advices and console u
well. He's great.
k. copy and paste this

Someday

2010-04-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

I have to.

Are you smiling?

2010-04-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

I'm like really depressed. Looked through my DSLR pictures and I saw Sam and his caveman unshaven beard and tousled hair. It makes me smile. I hope it make you guys smile too. :)

Gratitude

2010-04-20T22:47:00.002+08:00

"I was grateful. Grateful that he didn't chose her, grateful that he didn't leave me. Grateful that he thinks I'm all worth it. That I was worth the fight."

"Then what about those lifeless months? Those heart attacks, the crying gags and being unable to catch your breath all the time?"

"Ten times the pain, it will be all worth it. He came back and he isn't going anywhere anymore. He is going to stay Annabelle. He is going to stay. With me."

Sigh, it's hard to leave yet harder to stay. Now that I'm back, I pulled myself. Tried to move on with this wrenched heart yet everyday it gets a new bruise. Don't hit me too hard, I bleed too.

When the best part of me is always you

2010-04-18T01:55:00.001+08:00

I don't know about you, you or you. But to me, the best part of watching a movie is always, always I swear, the person sitting next to you.

Life's a breeze

2010-04-16T16:41:00.000+08:00

Been not blogging. Am charged guilt for MIA. Had been cooping myself, and forcing myself to go out andddd all the miscellaneous. I can't believe I'm going to talk to Charles's family tonight again! Right now, am going to zoomx10 and bathe and eat and wait for Sam's dad to come fetch me. Am gg to see Sam less in 60mins.

Doesn't matters if I am sick or not but I really love people who loves me back and care so much for me. At this point, I think life is amazing.

5.01am

2010-04-08T05:04:00.000+08:00

There are really times I'm sick of myself and I just want to feel good about myself. Like flaunting in clothes that I could never wear because my dream (major weight loss) came true so yeah. But than when I think again, I'll never have the guts to want to look nice. I know it sounds weird but ever since I get comments like 'Omg V, you're wearing a dress! So not you la' or 'It looks terrible. Can you take it down?', I sort of start hesitating everytime I saw pretty dresses. I just want people to stop caring that much.. At that kind of time. Yes, I'm not strong at all.

I'm not strong enough to accept crtiscism despite all that I'd received over the past few months which is just... Senseless. There are still so many people that made me feel small and ugly inside. When I finally feel really happy and pretty all over, I tend to forget. I tend to forget that if one person can make you feel like fireworks exploding inside you and all the beautiful rainbows and butterflies, it is just as easy to take it all away and punch line-d it with somewhat feels like a kick in the guts. Except that of course, it takes more than just 3 days for it to heal.

5.01am. now, on the phone with Sam who is currently in the hospital bandaged and casted like Ironman. Hehe.

Omg

2010-04-05T23:39:00.000+08:00

Went to Sam's house with Apple strudels, chocolate cuppcakes, Custard strudels, Sandwiches, Durian puffs to surprise him. Supposed he was still asleep like a pig he always is. I actually shouted for him to wake up thinking he is still sleeping and since ignoring my calls. Suddenly he picked up.

"Omg, open your door leh."
"V, I'm at the hospital."

Omg, I swear I freaked out and apparently Sam got into an accident this morning and got admitted into the hospital at 4.40am. ): omgomgomg. Went to visit him and saw him in bandages... Omg.

Tinkerbell

2010-04-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

my tinkerbell necklace

spoilt

broke

i left it back there

Sam:

just leave it there

okay

but it was my favourite necklace

lol

in fact its the only thing i ever wear

Sam:

i buy u a new 1

really?

Sam:

thanks

Sam:

i haven't say finish

is no problem

LOL ASS

Punggol Beach

2010-04-01T12:19:00.002+08:00

Had no idea why Delise wanted me to model but okay. It was all in the name of fun and catching up. I missed having friends.

To summarise, I had my heart broken. Yes, broken and shattered into micropic gazillion pieces and I am not going to cry anymore. At the same time, I am going to remind myself that this is payback time for taking the risk. No, I am not going to be stupid anymore jumping on a plane coming over to you giving you everything I'd possibly and never thought I'd got and in return? A wrenched-up heart crunched over and over again, demoralising lonely days wandering around your house waiting 24/7, jealousy stabs, missing of a flight, 12 hours of lonely journey back on a bus alone and lonesomeness.

Suck it up, V. Wished I could love what is good for and to me.

MIA

2010-03-23T17:47:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I broke your heart. I think it is sooner or later I might just collaspe and ask you back but... This time, I won't. I can't. I'm hurt and had hurt enough.

I just want to continue having that kind of familiar routine knowing you're safe somewhere away from Singapore. I love you Sam, but not enough to be together with you again. I dragged this too long and it is my fucking fault that everything turned out this way.

Fuck, I hate myself.

7 things

2010-03-07T23:41:00.001+08:00

So happy things first.
1. Sam surprised me with a motorbike yesterday nd we only had dinner. Was REALLY surprised btw.
2. Remembered me feeling bored and Mao came along to accompany me to watch 'I love you, Beth Cooper'
3. Rode on Sam's bike today.
4. Watched Dear John with Sam today(!)
5. Shared a bowl of noodles with Sam :)
6. Charles had been really comforting, supportive... Till. (K nvm, happy things right?)
7. Had a 'couplish' quarrel (on a really optimistic note)

For the sad things, turns out sometimes... Things are so unexpected. Like how it all happened so fast, I wished I could take back everything I said. You and I know it is harmless but I heard about how two people who supposedly love each other can come up with quarrels/sarcasm/fights every single day one too many times. And, I could never understand how could those people would actually start things like these... Till today. Wrong, I still don't understand how.

Yeah, I am just.. Confused, I guess?

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

2010-03-06T15:34:00.001+08:00

Sam will be coming. I'm so excited that..

HAPPY_GIRLGIRLZ1234 PLZ! WE ARE GG TO WATCH MUVEEEES, SLACK, EAT AND BE HARPEEEEE. *SINGS BOSSINI SONG WE CAN ALLLLLLLL BE HAPPYYYYY. BE HAPPY BE HAPPY, WE CAN ALLLLLLL BE HAPPY.

Day 3

2010-03-06T13:29:00.002+08:00

Day 3:

Basically we played in the pool, by the beach and had so much fun. Daddy is coolioz because he always damn 'on' when it comes to games and than we formed teams. Like the goalkeepers and the scorers. Scorers just score while goalkeepers have to block, hehe. Daddy always head of the goalkeepers and like when had the chance he will like dunk us ALL in the pool or just casually grab my brother and throw him in the pool when my mum is not looking. Hahaha, cool shit.

Had steamboat in the hotel room, secretly. There was prawns, mushrooms, ALOT of vegetables and I got people who peel prawns for me. We sneaked in like alot of food and we just eat there and nomz all the way from afternoon till night. And well, you should had seen how the kids there fight for food. They were all shouting, PLEASE I'M HAVING PUBERTY, I NEED FOOD. When I said the same thing, all of them give me the bird face. Win. I DON'T BELIEVE I CANNOT GROW ANY TALLER PLS.

We than head down to beach, look at waves, star and its constellation patterns and let of crackers. Cool shit. And than we had a game. All of us play okay, like we have to come up with stupid dance moves. It is so cute when guys have to do gay shit like SNSD's moves, EVEN MY DADDY PARTICIPATED PLEASE. Cute can. Hahahaha. Remembered me and Weiren running across the road barefooted and grabbed ice cream from the mini mart opposite and everybody there were staring us... And our feet. Awesome much.

Miss Penang. Ttm.

Number 112

2010-03-06T02:11:00.002+08:00

WilsonWong. says:

haha

can you chill ?

V. says:

i cant

cause a bunch of guys just confessed to me

LOL

AND YOURE ONE OF THEM

WilsonWong. says:

HAHA

so will you accept me ?!

HAHAHA

V. says:

like i said

take a number and wait in the line

your number is 112

WilsonWong. says:

HAHAHA

too long

bye

i give up

HAHA

V. says:

LOL

I'd

2010-03-05T00:15:00.000+08:00

Missed you so terribly.

If you are going to move on, I guess I have to let you go.